Funny Poems

The Bikini

by Vivien Wade

I've decided to get into shape,
Though knowing I'll never be skinny,
Would just like to lose a few pounds,
So I could wear a bright red bikini.

The way to lose weight, I'm told,
Is to join a class at the gym,
After a few weeks, they're sure,
I 'd be on the right track to slim.

At first I was a quite skeptical,
When told loose clothing to wear,
If ever I had any such clothing,
I wouldn't need to be there.

The first class was absolute agony,
Perspiring and jumping around,
Then onto the treadmill I went,
Hoping I'd walk off a pound.

At last that class was over,
I'd really been put through a test,
With aching limbs, I was thankful,
I could finally go home to rest.

Dreaming of that gorgeous bikini,
Encouraged me to lose weight,
But after gym, I'd be so hungry,
I piled up the food on my plate.

After six weeks of gym classes,
That bikini might be within reach.
Weighing, I stepped on the scales,
With visions of me at the beach.

The hand of the scales moved forward,
Just couldn't believe what I saw,
Expecting to have lost a few pounds,
I weighed even more than before!

Well, that put an end to my dreaming,
Of seeing a bright red bikini on me,
It's back to my dark one-piece swimsuit,
Which covers me from neck to knee.