Ellen Bailey Poems
Humorous and Funny Poems

The Salesman

by Donna Word Chappell

Luke was a hippy, weird and wild;
A real, true, genuine flower child.
Homer Brown had a happy life,
A men's clothing store, two kids, and a wife.

Homer put a sign in his window one day
Saying "Salesman Wanted, Right Away."
Luke walked by and viewed the sign
As a way to make money without half trying.

Homer was speechless when Luke the slob
Said, "Hey! You need a salesman, and I need a job!"
When his voice returned he asked Luke real slow,
"Do you really think you can sell men's clothes?"

Luke said, "Sure, Man! This I know,
I could sell ice to an Eskimo!"
Homer was in a real big bind.
He really didn't want that kind

Of person in his organization,
But if the guy hollered "discrimination"
He'd be in an even bigger mess.
What to do next he couldn't even guess.

Then he remembered the suit on the rack.
It was orange and red and yellow and black.
Homer by now was feeling real mean so he
Added a vest that was yellow and green.

He pulled it out from the clothing rack.
Luke took one look and was taken aback.
"What in the world is that?" said Luke.
"This is my salesman testing suit,"

Said Homer with a great big smile.
"It's been with me for quite awhile.
I'm leaving now for an hour or more.
If you sell the suit, the job is yours."

Homer smiled again as he closed the door,
Knowing he was off the hook for sure.
When he returned the first thing he saw
Was the hippy, bruised, scratched, bleeding, and raw.

His clothes were in shreds from his knees to his chin,
But on his face was a great big grin.
"I sold the suit! I did it, Man!"
Said Luke. "Hey, boss, you got a new hand!"

"I can't believe you did that, Luke.
Was the customer happy with the suit?"
"Yeah, man! The customer liked it a bunch.
But his seeing eye dog nearly ate my lunch."

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